Monthly Archive for January, 2008

I’ve never seen this show before. I just watched the last episode of season 12 on the YouTubes. It was great. It looked like a really fun show, running around the world doing various strange tasks, being exhausted beyond measure, competing in actual challenges rather than sitting around on an island or in a house bickering all the time. There is some strategy involved, now that there have been 12 seasons and you have a fairly good idea of the sorts of stunts they are going to pull, and often you can figure things out by just taking a second to think before acting rather than rushing in screaming. I really want to get on this show!

Much of what made it seem so neat was the winners, Rachel and TK, who I knew within the first five minutes were the people I wanted to see come out on top. They were just so…happy. They were totally in the game as a game, loving every minute of it, be it climbing a glacier or flying in a helicopter or riding in a speedboat or even digging through crabs to find a clue. The other two teams were serious and angry and conflict-prone and making mistakes. Those two were just so exhilarated and happy to be there and in love, it was infectious.

I’m home sick and I was sleeping and I just had the strangest and most awesome dream. Basically, I was encountering second chances and opportunities missed, all in a semi-waking state. It was incredibly meta. A bunch of stuff happened, and then near the end I was in a theater, watching a great movie I had always wanted to see, but then I began to get drowsy. I dozed off several times and then sort of jolted myself awake, but then I realized it was a dream and I was waking up in *real life*, so I dove back down — and realized that I had woken up — in the dream — because the movie was over, and I had missed the amazing ending.

I looked up and there were tons of people in the theater in strange costumes, dressed like robots and people at the xkcd meetup and LARPers, and I wanted to investigate who they were and what they were doing and whether I knew any of them and if they were affiliated with BSCF…but then I got tired again, and woke myself up again, and realized it was a dream, and dove back in.

I found interesting and curious belongings scattered around my seat that may or may not have been mine, and I wanted to investigate them, see what wonders the strange bag and backpack contained, but first I had to put on a pair of shoes that were either my running shoes or my hiking shoes, depending on when I looked at them and from what angle. As I leaned over to put them on, still not quite sure what was wrong with them, I had trouble tying the laces due to drowsiness, so I forced myself to wake up…only to see the light of day and realize once again that I was in bed, and so I stopped myself, went back under.

I looked over and realized that beside me in the theater were a group of three people I had known freshman year but soon after lost touch with. We all marveled at the amazing coincident of meeting at the (conveniently clean and spacious) theater, and I tried to wake up a bit so that I could talk to them, but I realized I wasn’t really talking to them (even though I could vividly make out their faces, something that never happens to me in a dream, with my visual memory, especially for faces, generally so bad) when I woke up for real, again. This time I heard pounding, so I decided to really snap myself out of the dream, thinking maybe the cat was destroying more of the house, but it was just the cleaning crew vacuuming the hallways.

And so then I was here, and not there, and I don’t know how to find my way back. I really wish I could locate the path to semi-awake-land, but it seems to be nowhere that a waking mind can comprehend. I could try going back to sleep, but, even with a direction in my head, I don’t imagine I’d find the way. I sure hope one day I return there. And maybe have a bit more of my wits about me, and a bit more time to explore a vast subconscious brimming full with wonder and mystery.